Ode to coffee

Coffee coffee all brown and creamy 
You wake me up when I am dreamy 

You are a mummas bestest friend
You keep me going till days end. 

You make my brain as sharp as a tack.
You help me pick up all the slack.

With you I complete all my tasks
When I have you for my breakfasks.

You make my kid not seem so crazy
You stop me from being lazy. 

I feel like I could loop the loop,
But most of all - you help me poop. 

Daily thoughts ...

Things I often think (and say)

"gosh I'm tired"

"ohhh, So THATs what that smell is"

"stop touching that"

"stop touching me"

"actually no that's MY booby"

"just eat something!"

"don't eat that!"

"crap where'd he go...?"

"...what will the neighbours think"

"I'm NEVER giving him chocolate again"

"plleeeaaasseeee can I just go to the toilet in peace... Just once!"

"no I cant fix that, it's snapped plastic"

"umm no that's not broken, mummy just took the batteries out of it"

"while I respect your independence and desire to dress your self that shoe won't go on that foot no matter how much you cry"

"4:30 am is a time you stay up until (in a previous life) NOT a time you get up!!!"

"oh goodness it's getting late - I'm going to bed" (at 9:45)

"no! You can't have a new ball EVERY TIME we go to kmart"

"sorry Bub - it's not your turn to drive"

"saying 'MINE' doesn't make it yours"

And lastly - at least once a day thinking how gorgeous he is, how lucky I am and that I can't imagine my life without him (though this usually happens when he's finally gone to sleep at night ;) ) 

Lies I tell my child!!!

'no there's no chocolate left honey we ate it all up!!!' (he was shocked as he saw the whole block not 15 minutes before) 

'mummy missed you too baby' (I'm so grateful to get a few hours away from Jasper when I go to college!)

'oh no mummy can't find toy story, what else do you want to watch?'

'tv is broken!'

'wine is yucky!'

'bubby mummy is sleeping' (well I'm TRYING to sleep)

And 'you can't stay up baby' (pfft he knows I can't MAKE him sleep :-))

'i don't know why that toy won't work..?' (I took the flipping batteries out!!!!)

 'sorry mummy has no money' when he asks for mon-neeee for the ride on toys at the shops.
 
I've told him once the police will come and get mummy if Jasper doesn't wear his seat belt... In the pram.... Shockingly it worked.

And a lie I plan to use at some point in the future is 'when the idecream truck is playing music it means they've sold out and have no ice-cream' :p

I'm mean :D