'no there's no chocolate left honey we ate it all up!!!' (he was shocked as he saw the whole block not 15 minutes before)
'mummy missed you too baby' (I'm so grateful to get a few hours away from Jasper when I go to college!)
'oh no mummy can't find toy story, what else do you want to watch?'
'tv is broken!'
'wine is yucky!'
'bubby mummy is sleeping' (well I'm TRYING to sleep)
And 'you can't stay up baby' (pfft he knows I can't MAKE him sleep :-))
'i don't know why that toy won't work..?' (I took the flipping batteries out!!!!)
'sorry mummy has no money' when he asks for mon-neeee for the ride on toys at the shops.
I've told him once the police will come and get mummy if Jasper doesn't wear his seat belt... In the pram.... Shockingly it worked.
And a lie I plan to use at some point in the future is 'when the idecream truck is playing music it means they've sold out and have no ice-cream' :p
I'm mean :D